


be my old self again.

by aliciaxadrienne



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Cutesy, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 10:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2809088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliciaxadrienne/pseuds/aliciaxadrienne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>history repeats itself, but there's something about him that makes it seem so worth it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	be my old self again.

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this and published it on my tumblr about a week ago. this was my official return to writing and i'm in the middle of writing a zombie apocalypse!mashton, which should be published within the next day or so
> 
> please, tell me what you think :)

It’s crazy, Taylor thinks, how you can look back on one conversation and see all the different directions it could have gone, spiraling into so many different futures, all so much better than the present.

If only.

She always chooses her words so carefully. That’s one thing she’s learned from being in the public eye for so long; how to spoon out the truth in gentle spoonfuls, topped off with a little sugar to lighten the load a little. It doesn’t even hit her until after that she had thrown all that out the window, reverting back to her eighteen year old self, the type of girl who could be spiteful for the sake of her own comfort. He tends to do that to her.

Honestly, she hadn’t thought it would have gotten anywhere close to this. Twitter wasn’t exactly her ideal platform for meeting someone, however helpful her marketing team claims it may be. Taylor started retweeting other celebrities as a way to placate everyone. It’d make her look involved in Hollywood, friendly with everyone, another guideline set by Tree to help her lose the man-eating persona that had been eating away for so long.

Michael Clifford is a member of the boyband 5 Seconds of Summer, Google tells her, or more like reminds. Taylor has heard of them before, mostly through Harry, and they’ve mutually attended a few award shows. She recognizes him from the VMAs, remembers thinking that the performance of Amnesia was outstanding. For some reason, they’ve never spoken. So, she instigates their first conversation. 

Based on the replies that she scrolls through for all of forty seconds after he sends her back a cat emoji, fans are either ecstatic or annoyed. Nothing new. That one girl threatening to murder Taylor’s firstborn if “Maylor” becomes a thing has nothing to worry about.

Taylor goes to bed that night listening to the whole album, noting some of the guitar solos. She decides Amnesia is still her favorite.

********************************  
The day before her twenty fifth birthday, when she’s got a few minutes to spare before the Jingle Ball, she checks her tumblr and is blindsided by a picture of Michael with a poster of her face. Taylor doesn’t let herself recognize the blush flooding her cheeks.

They’ve already exchanged numbers, and she invited him and the rest of his band to her birthday party. Pretty much everyone will be there already, so she figures it won’t be all that weird, having someone you’ve spoken to briefly online at your party. It’s not like he’s all that frightening, even with the two inches in height he has over her, and has been teasing her for since she gave him her number. If she wears heels, Taylor can definitely be taller. 

The first thing he says when he walks through the door is “I am so sorry Ashton isn’t here, he isn’t feeling all that well, he said he’s really sorry, and i told him to man up and come with us but he’s Ashton so..”

Without thinking, she hugs him. It’s impulsive and maybe a little dumb, because during the short embrace Taylor becomes wickedly aware of Calum and Luke silently standing behind Michael, and Calum’s got a enormous stuffed bear cradled in his arms. 

Pulling back, Taylor notices that Michael’s eyes are a little glazed over before he snaps back into it. She has a sudden flashback to watching an interview in which someone insisted Michael had a crush on her and he hadn’t denied anything. “I’m sure he’ll tweet me later.” She says, as a ridiculously late reply. 

He turns away for a second to all but rip the bear from Calum’s arms, before getting down on one knee and presenting it to her like King Arthur’s sword. Taylor giggles and happily accepts it. Definitely not the most expensive gift she’s received, but her heart skips a beat anyways.

They take pictures together. Not just in the photobooth, either, but just after two am, when they’ve had a little bit to drink and everyone has either left or is doing their own thing, Michael pulls out his phone to read a text and Taylor reaches for it. When he gives her a questioning look, all she says is “I saw that selfie you took with that poster,” and he flushes a red that is way too similar to his hair, and the plaid he’s wearing that is also really close to what she’s wearing. Taylor finds the fact that she’s twinning with a redhead hilarious in her tipsy state and they take enough selfies that the memory on his phone gets completely filled. As revenge, Michael takes her phone and adds close to twenty emojis, ranging from the shooting star to the anchor, to his contact name.

He only leaves after Luke and Calum start acting like petulant children on a road trip, wanting to go back to the hotel, probably eager to make fun of Ashton for missing out on a party. Taylor’s only known them for a few hours, but they feel like little brothers to her, albeit Luke is four inches taller and Calum doesn’t seem to like her all that much. 

She kinda forgets about him for a couple hours, after all, she still has a few guests to entertain, namely Beyonce and Jay-Z, but then it’s 5 am and it’s just her and Selena and that damn plush bear is so large..

Selena asks. Taylor doesn’t say anything. 

********************************  
After making pancakes for Selena (who is still sleeping even though it’s eleven thirty,) and feeding Meredith and Olivia, Taylor absentmindedly walks through her house, picking up odds and ends, just to keep herself occupied. Twenty five years old and still restless as all hell.

It’s too early in the day and she is too sleepy to know if it’s really a good idea to see what her tumblr friends thought of the party, but Taylor does it anyway.  
She’s done a great job deciding on who she follows, because there is little to no negativity on her dashboard. God, she loves these people. 

Selena comes down the stairs, a little hung over and obviously not pleased with how misshapen the house still looks, even after her messy and half-hearted attempt to clean at 5:30 in the morning. “Are you texting Michael?” she asks, and seems to add “That bear is staring directly at you,” as an afterthought.

Taylor shakes her head, choosing not to comment on Michael or his bear, only firing back “I made you pancakes,” wiggling her eyebrows, and excusing herself to go upstairs when her phone buzzes with a text message from Michael.

********************************

Two days later, he’s at her house at 7 pm with two large pizzas and another teddy bear, although this one is smaller and red. 

Michael stutters for an answer when she cheekily asks him if giving her teddy bears is going to be their ‘thing.’ “Well I kind of just saw it this morning, and I thought of you, because I was listening to RED last night and honestly it’s such a great album and..” She stops paying attention after that, just moving to let him in. Olivia immediately goes up to his feet, while Meredith remains pensive, hanging off the couch in a way that only a cat could.

He suggests watching a movie, but when they try making a decision on what to watch, Michael gets distracted by Olivia making herself at home on his lap. “She is so fuckin’ cute,” He whispers, and realizes immediately after that the statement could apply to Taylor as well.

Three hours later they have discussed everything from what the fans have named haylorgate (Michael gets unnecessarily angry over some of the tweets that Taylor vividly describes, and she reminds him that this was two years ago and she and Harry are friends still) to if Australia is really as terrifying as everyone says it is (she laughs when he describes how there was a kangaroo on Ashton’s front lawn one time, and the pandemonium that ensued) before they both decide it’s getting a little late and Michael really ought to be getting back to his ridiculously clingy band.

As a way to lengthen out the amount of time he has before he has to remove Olivia from his lap, where she has stayed since he first sat down, Michael asks Taylor what her plans are for the next few days. It’s December, so of course she’s got a shitload of things to do, and he regrets asking as soon as the words are out of his mouth, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

“I’ve got a couple new people to buy gifts for and I’m going to Nashville for a little while next week, but that’s really it until Christmas Eve,” Taylor says dreamily, and it’s insane how pretty her smile looks when it’s illuminated by the multitude of christmas tree lights highlighting her profile. Michael takes a moment to collect himself before he asks the question that’s been on his mind for what seems like weeks, but is probably more like since her party.

Clearing his throat and smiling nervously when Olivia shifts, kneading her paws into the fabric of his jeans, Michael tells himself to stop being a bitch before just coming right out with it. “Do you think that maybe we could go out for dinner? When you’re free, or whatever.”

Taylor looks at him like she’s seeing him for the first time. Here is Michael Clifford, sitting on her couch, cuddled up with her kitten, wrapped up in a blanket with a mug of hot chocolate, asking her on a date. A month ago she would have said no. But a month ago she didn’t know anything about him besides his hair color. 

It’s obvious she’s been thinking too long when his hopeful expression fades and he starts to get up, scaring Olivia and avoiding Taylor’s gaze. “Yes, of course I’ll go on a date with you, don’t be idiotic,” she rolls her eyes, smacking him on the shoulder playfully, before pausing. “Wait, I gotta ask the opinion of some very important individuals before we make any plans!”

He looks overwhelmed to say the least, but laughs when Taylor gathers up both cats in her arms. “What is your opinion on this matter, Meredith?” The cat looks woefully unamused and Taylor nods before turning to Olivia. “And yours, Benson?” More apathy, but at least this one is from a younger source that has spent a few hours getting very comfortable with the 6 foot giant.

There’s an easy smile on his lips when Michael asks her if eight pm the next day is okay.

********************************

The first time they kiss is New Year’s Day 2015. 

Taylor’s still really pumped from her performance for Rockin’ Eve, and Michael is over at her house again, which isn’t really anything new for them. They’re kind of together, even if neither of them will say it out loud when they’re in separate rooms.

By this time, she’s got a small collection of stuffed bears.

Ed texts her while they’re watching Catching Fire, asking if she wants to write tomorrow, and Michael starts rambling like he always does when he’s passionate about something. It’s honestly one of the best things about him, from Taylor’s point of view. She doesn’t know very many people that are as excitable as her. 

“The boys and I have been dreaming for months that he would pull a Little Things and write something for us.. Our genres don’t match up exactly but it would just be so cool to have a co-write with him.. Did you know Luke and Calum did a cover of The A Team like three years ago?.. oh right i did show that to you.. He’s just an incredible songwriter, shit, Taylor, you’re so lucky.”

“I know,” she murmurs, and it could be about so many things, but Taylor is just so happy she would agree with anything Michael said to her.

They sit in comfortable silence for a while, probably assuming the other is engrossed in the film, but Taylor’s mind is racing and she’s also secretly texting Ed.

After Katniss shoots the arrow into the arena, Michael starts mildly freaking out and Taylor absently puts her hand on his as a way to calm him down. His head immediately whips around to make eye contact, and it’d be humorous if it wasn’t so endearing. “I just talked to Ed,” She starts, taking a deep breath before continuing, “and I’m supposed to be writing with him tomorrow, but I told him what you told me.” Their hands are still touching, and she’s hypersensitive to the feeling of Michael’s thumb gently rubbing over the skin of her palm. “So, he agreed to write with you, and the other guys, if that’s how your process works.”

It takes him a moment, but Michael nods. And then he really understands, and his eyes widen like the complete dweeb he is. Then he leans in and kisses Taylor right on the mouth.

He leans back, and for a millisecond, everything is silent. 

Then Taylor grabs him by the back of the neck and really kisses him. She takes the lead and Michael lets her, because shit, this is not how he saw this night going, getting an opportunity to write with Ed Motherfuckin’ Sheeran and kiss Taylor Motherfuckin’ Swift.

She only lets him leave after both their lips feel bruised and Luke has sent him fifteen messages.

 

********************************

It’s just one stupid goddamn little fight. But it’s just so unusual, because they never really disagree on anything, and all of a sudden he’s saying that Calum was right, she is too much for him, and even if they’ve only been together a few months, the devastation in Taylor’s voice when she tells him to leave leaves such a sour taste in her mouth she has to suppress the need to go wash out all the stupid things she said. She knows he’ll come back, Michael has made it clear he doesn’t give up after one disagreement, but it’s still enough to leave her questioning what the purpose of their relationship is. History repeats itself, but there’s something about him that makes it seem so worth it.

The one thing she didn’t expect from becoming independence was all the pessimism. Taylor kinda loves him and he kinda loves her. That should be enough, for now. 

She goes to bed that night listening to Amnesia.


End file.
